Of course, I could take time to celebrate the heroes here, the scientists who may have just discovered what is known as “the God Particle” - and seriously advanced physics.

Instead, I’m going to do two things: make fun of the end-of-the-world idiots and, simultaneously, validate doomsday theories. Because it’s been that kind of week.

You see, the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN), which is responsible for this important scientific development, originally came under fire for allegedly hastening the end of the world. Anyone remember the cries of “they’re going to cause a black hole to rip up apart Earth!!!” when their Large Hadron Collider first went online? The LHC is what allowed scientists to glimpse that elusive boson just now - if you haven’t been paying attention.

Honestly, at the time I mostly thought that the biggest threat coming from the LHC was the amount of bad jokes it generated when people kept “accidentally” misspelling “Large Hadron” as “Large Hard-on.” Bahaha! Who knew that physics just bring out the fourth-grader in all of us!

Still, the possible new discovery does make you wonder. Not about ravenous black holes, per se (one could be approaching us as I type this message, and none of us will be the wiser before it’s too late - and even if we were wiser, what on earth could we do about it? Aside from running around like headless chickens for a few minutes?), but about the fact that science is advancing at breakneck speed. We’re so used to it doing so, that we’re hardly paying attention. When we don’t pay attention, bad things happen.

I’m just sayin’. If you don’t believe me, take a brief look at the history of the 20th century.